After nearly two weeks away, I return home to the trees in full leaf, the lawn gone wild with violets and strawberry blossoms. Drizzly, cold, my brother starts the wood stove. The cats uncurl themselves before the blaze, satiated. A cold May, but verdant, lushly and satisfyingly so.
In these post-surgery days, I limp from room to room, venture outside to tug down a lilac branch and breathe in. The weeds run rampart, but whatever… the garden, too, will be sorted and tidied.
I’ve written repeatedly about the lilacs around my house, but again, I reiterate my joy in the soaring bushes. When I was five, we lived in a small green rented house, its yard surrounded by chainlink fence. A lilac bush leaned over the fence from the backyard neighbors. My second-grade sister was in school afternoons, my toddler brother sleeping, and so, after kindergarten and lunch, I lay on the long grass, staring up through the quaking leaves. These bushes, so New Englandy quaint with lavender, violet, and white blossoms, remind me of those unbounded childhood hours. One o’clock, two o’clock? Who knew? Who cared? I had just learned how to tie my shoes.
Like the walking wounded, I hobble from couch to chair, through the long grass, out of the workaday world and, yet, far from being a child. In glorious remission, in recovery from surgery, I keep thinking of this poem below, as I begin, day by day, to mend my body and life.
“Da Capo”
Take the used-up heart like a pebble
and throw it far out.Soon there is nothing left.
Soon the last ripple exhausts itself
in the weeds.Returning home, slice carrots, onions, celery.
Glaze them in oil before adding
the lentils, water, and herbs.Then the roasted chestnuts, a little pepper, the salt.
Finish with goat cheese and parsley. Eat.You may do this, I tell you, it is permitted.
Begin again the story of your life.— Jane Hirshfield
Stony Soil Vermont 
Your ability to begin again and again leaves me breathless. I hope this is the last time you have to begin again after surgery. Enjoy the lilacs and the lovely spring.
Thank you for this! 💕
Love your lush green garden 💚💚
🌱💚
The scent of lilacs is such a balm. Breath them in deeply and heal in this lush spring.
💕
So much really does depend on a blossoming lilac, hugging a fence, in the yard.
Love this!
Lush words as well as lush property! Lilacs are (somehow!) life. ☺️ I hope people are bringing you things that you are really wanting to eat (or read!) right now. 🪻
Again, I’m amazed at the generosity of people. So grateful.
So glad to hear you’re home and mending among the lilacs! Spring has been extra fresh and abundant in the PNW this year. The lilacs are fading but the roses are beginning to bloom, and luckily I planted a couple last year. I decided at age 55 it was time, not knowing (perhaps knowing?) how much I’d need them this year. Today I laid on my porch and cool wind blew over me. I remember laying in a playground field at recess, age 6/7/8 with the same feeling, happy to be an earthling.
And learning to tie the shoelaces. I’d forgotten what a feat that was.
This skill seemed like it took me forever.
Loved reading this!!!! So nice to hear from the PNW.
It has been terribly cold for May, but the lilacs will last a long time!
So cold the woodstove is still crackling.
Mine too!
💕
Nature is so healing.
❤️
There’s nothing better for healing than a soothing home. Thanks for providing me with beautiful vestiges of spring.
Thank you for reading!
We’re looking forward to visiting Vermont this summer. Any festivals that strike you as worth seeing?
Burlington has Festival of Fools…. Depending on where you go, farmers markets and county fairs are always good. Check out the state parks and public trails. Have fun!!
I just read the fesival was cancelled this year.
Thanks for the tips. My wife and I would love to join a protest there.