Changing Worlds

The cold, my old familiar friend, sweeps back.

Carrying out a bucket of hot ashes from the woodstove in the early morning, I stand for a moment in the gusting wind. Is snow falling or merely blowing?

Inside, the cats pace, hungry, then hunker before the stove, waiting for warmth.

Midwinter, our days unfold in an unusual patience, a kind of dreamy standstill, fluctuating between work and home for my older daughter and myself, and the new version of school for my youngest.

In Vermont, the Agency of Ed aims to fully reopen schools by the end of April. My high schooler asks me, while we make spicy egg rolls, what that means. Among all the things she doesn’t like about this mixed-up world, she’s come to relish the kind of collegesque schedule she’s managed at the high school, coming and going at her own will.

At fifteen, she’s composed and level-headed, determined to get done what’s necessary.

I tell her what I believe — that the world will not revert to the way it was, that our future is already unfolding around us, in ways we don’t yet understand.

I can’t tell her what I’m thinking — seize the reins you’re already holding and steer your own fate — because I know she doesn’t want my advice. Maybe she doesn’t even need my advice.

Instead, I scrape out the last of the cabbage from the pan and say, “Do what you need to do. This is your life.”

Outside, this morning, the wind chimes bang in the wind.

In the bleak Winter
When the World is one color
Is the Sound of Wind

— Bashō

Hardwick, Vermont, January

About Brett Ann Stanciu

A writer and sugarmaker, Brett Ann lives with her two daughters in stony soil Vermont. Her novel HIDDEN VIEW was published by Green Writers Press in the fall of 2015. Let my writing speak for itself.
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8 Responses to Changing Worlds

  1. How beautiful. Knowing the answers are there and just being open to receiving them. XO
    Stay warm.

  2. Nancy says:

    I love when you write of present day life and close with a poem from long ago.
    And what a nice compliment about your daughter at 15 years of age!

  3. Maggie says:

    Our granddaughter, 17, wants to go back. Not for the social aspect as I imagined, but she wants to know her teachers and wants her teachers to know her. There is a façade of familiarity in online schooling.

    • I really feel for your granddaughter. My daughter is lucky enough to be able to go two and a half days a week…. I think this virtual schooling is incredibly hard on kids. Developing relationships and knowing people can be really difficult, but it’s essential…

  4. Most days, I feel like the whole world is on hold. Lovely post!

  5. Pingback: Changing Worlds — Stony Soil Vermont | Vermont Folk Troth

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