Scars, Somewhere in November, 2020

Every morning, a hard frost sugarcoats our world.

Before the snow falls in earnest, my daughter drives, logging in hours and experience with her driver’s permit. We head out one way and take a different road back home.

Inadvertently, wandering, we end up on a road in Elmore that I haven’t traveled in years. While she and her sister talk, I remember the last time I had traveled that road was with my mother and the girls, who were so much younger then. The forest drops away on either side of the backroad. Farm fields, shaved down to corn stubble, surround us.

The girls’ father was away then, visiting his father who was recovering from a heart attack. When he returned, I believed we had a new beginning, a jumpstart to what we were doing as a family. Now, with my youngest in the driver’s seat of our Subaru, I have a sudden realization that there’s never any beginning, never any fresh start, the world always unfolding and transforming — from harrowed up fields to spring shoots to the fatness of August’s harvest.

This girl — all of her, stoic and disciplined and sometimes radiantly joyful — is becoming a young adult in these strange pandemic days. I imagine she’ll carry these months (maybe years?) forever with her, sewn into her soul like a scar.

The road winds around the rural hospital where both my daughters were born by caesarian, leaving my own body with indelible scars. I wouldn’t trade those scars for the world.

Photo of Teapot by Diane Grenkow

About Brett Ann Stanciu

A writer and sugarmaker, Brett Ann lives with her two daughters in stony soil Vermont. Her novel HIDDEN VIEW was published by Green Writers Press in the fall of 2015. Let my writing speak for itself.
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8 Responses to Scars, Somewhere in November, 2020

  1. Duncan says:

    Someone once told me that “our scars are the physical evidence of love”. She was talking about arthritis in her hands from years of illustrating, but it really hit me.

  2. It will certainly alter the adults they will become, but I’m hopeful that the lessons, in the long run, will be good ones. Imagine them, age 90, telling their grandkids about the Great Pandemic and what they had to do to get through it!

  3. Nancy says:

    And another satisfying read; I so admire your turns of phrase (hmmm, is that the correct plural of ‘turn of phrase’?). And is the chicken in the photo really a teapot, as the caption states? Looks real to me 😉

  4. The chicken’s name is Teapot. She had originally been Fern, but she apparently merited a change in name. And, she didn’t protest. 🙂

  5. Nancy says:

    Yeah, she definitely looks like a teapot 🙃 Good chicken.

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